check out the 'shoutout' at the bottom of each post I make...ain't it cool? now you guys can comment and any particular post I make instead of just using the taggie...and there's tons of cool animated smilies that you can use for comments too. of course it took a while to work but it finally paid off :)

came back from church an hour ago...had ramen..chicken nuggets..fruit salad...full right now. it is so gorgeous outside...I could see the ocean from church (it's at UB too)...and I was just itchin to go swimming. it's getting colder though...NO...don't want summer to end..... tomorrow's labor day..it's a holiday...the last day of holiday..before we have no holiday... :( oh well.

person from my dad's work place moved to a place in the same town we're at recently, and he invited our family for a house warming party...PARTY means food...nope, ain't goin cuz I've been a very bad girl, gorgin myself with snacks from the last party...and also he has a daughter like a year older than me...she acts so superior towards me man...well..that's what I feel..prolly not true right..but I just feel real uncomfortable with her. SO..I go hang with her younger sister who is like 2 years younger than me...then I look like a real freak to her. whatever man..not goin.

oh well...only one more day...the end is near. goals for the school year:

1. get into states for volleyball
2. keep up grades
3. think about after high school stuff-have some idea
4. make sure I get into korean classes at UB for spring semester
5. volunteer enough hours for the presidents award
6. broaden experiences
7. study DP

there's prolly more I wanna do..but it's buried deep in my head...

I'm SO MAD AT THAT FREAKIN FREAKIN FREAKIN FREAKIN STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG......WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER??? HAVEN'T SHE FILLED OUT A KID'S PHYSICAL B4???????????????????????????? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY......DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE TO GO OUT OF MY WAY AND MY MOM'S WAY TO GET TO THAT FREAKIN FREAKIN FREAKIN CLINIC??????????????????????? cuz my dad won't drive me...................gotta tke the FREAKIn FREAKIN FREAKIN FREKAIN bus..which comes only every FREAKIN hour....ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sighs..rolls eyes* whatever...........

should take a shower now...went to the beach today with esther and a bunch of other girls...one of them lost her glasses after boating, emotions flying..$400 down the drain..bad ending to a great day... the water was great though...gorgeous day..tanned for half an hour..didn't turn that browner... that girl looked like she would never smile again...and we didn't look like it either...but we did...man..we were out there searching for an hour...

I'm now at my friend's house..(her name is coincidentally also esther)..we had a party last night for her birthday..she turned 16. i arrived early (3 hours early?) to help...made my 3 sushi rolls and helped with the food...then we watched a movie called FALLEN. it's a great movie until the ending...highly recommended though..but I won't give anything away. the VCR started acting up and only played the movie every 2 seconds..really annoying. luckily we borrowd the vcr/tv from her friends upstairs and we could watch it. we finished around 12+ in the morning after everything was done. then the guys left and it was just us girls (like 6 of us?) and we watched another movie called the SWING KIDS..set in nazi times..scary..okay though...I slept half way through it though..heehee..

alright..i expect today to be not so interesting until i get to volleyball !!!!! just luv it man...

remember how I said that I was surprised that the doctor only felt my tummy during the physical and nothing else? well guess why...it's cuz she didn't do the whole examination...!!! there was this other form attatched to the packet that her beady little eyes missed. well...I should have checked before leaving anyway..but what's wrong with TRUST??? omg..this will be the 3rd time I will be going back to the freakin doctor's...i am mad...

I was real frustrated at volleyball today man..I arrived late for volleyball cuz of my physical right..I got there at 10:30, supposed to be there at 9...so I thought to myself..hey, I still got 2 and a half hours to play..so that's cool. but it turns out..there was something the shcool pple needed to do with the gym or soemthing..so we could only stay till 12. SO...I only had 1 and a hafl hours to play... and I spent a whole hour setting 200 balls off the wall and 50 into the basketball hoop. I was so frustrated while setting it into the hoop..cuz they would just bounce off or roll away or soemthing...even though the hole was RIGHT THERE!! yes..I lost my patience. I so wanted to play the real game...

so..the last like...10 mins or something..I actually got to play..not even a whole game okay. GRR...and I totally sucked in that game alright. frustration built upon frustration. as usual...we played against the boys...haiz...same story...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to be so much better...so much better...

my sibs first day of school..I hope they had an alright time. I'm most worried about my oldest sib...he gets bullied alot cuz of his height (short) and his chattiness...

today...I went to the doctor's...it was alright. because my appointment is at 9:10, it's prolly one of the first ones..so I didn't have to wait that long, and I think it was early cuz we arrived early. well...it was the usual..urine sample test, questions, blood pressure taking, questions, eyesight test, questions, height and weight taking. then I had a shot for hepatitis B, a tubercolosis thingy where they made a bubble under my skin with the liquid on my right forearm...on the white part. and the nurse pricked my finger to take blood...scary. but it was over before I knew it..cuz my friend told me he was felt all over by his doctor and some other real uncomfortable stuff. all my doctor did was feel my tummy.

there's quite a few pple who got their blogs in other places..like ebloggy.com, xanga.com..and I visited other places too...and I feel like I'm missing out in a way cuz I just jumped right into blogger once I found out about it instead of searching around for the best place for a blog. but I'm really happy with blogger...still I have that feeling like is there a better blog place out there?

its the same thing with my ambitions and stuff. my dad tells me I should find something I like and stick with that thing instead of jumping from interest to interest frivolously (not his exact words)...and I'm just..scared that I'll settle for something to study for and then find something else I ... like more. you get me blog? argh.. I don't want to regret....another thing my dad tells me not to do...I don't want to look back and regret...especially something so big and crucial as my work cuz I would be doin it for practically the rest of my life. haiz..(haiz means sigh btw) alrighty...gtg...my mom prolly needs help with zinner..

man..I have like the biggest booboo (bruise) on my left arm...I dunno how I got it..but it definitely got worse from bumping at volleyball....haiz..it's so purple and ugly...

I heard from the staff at school that there'll be 96 freshmen this year...there's only 70 in my class and the senior class. well... but most of them will prolly not stay all 4 years. I can't wait to see them...heh.

tomorrow..I'm going for my physical at the doctors...hope I don't have strip or anything...memories from the physical 2 years ago is seeping back..ARGH! I had a male doctor then too... but this year..I have a lady doctor....hopefully it won't go too bad. I missed my last appointment for a physical..I thought it was last friday at 12:50..it was really the day before at 11:50...I was pretty disorientated after that vermont trip...wow..was that only last week? well..I'm determined not to miss this appointment tomorrow. but I'll be missing a bit of volleyball..oh well

okay..here's the situation..volleyball is from 9am to 1pm...and I just bring 2 cereal bars for lunch..cuz I don't get back till 5 with my dad...and when I get back or before I get back..I eat anything I can get my hands on..it's crazy. I went over to my sibs friends place while waiting for my parents to pick us up (it's on UB campus). and they had just come back from Thailand right..so they had bought tons of candy and stuff for real cheap over there..and I consuming it like it was water...!!! omg...if coach catches me..she'll be so mad. and I drank some soda too...ahhh...she actually forbade us to drink soda..if she caught us..she would make us do push ups or something. haiz...

finished volleyball about an hour ago...and got a ride from coach down to UB. I'm all sweaty and sticky..well I'm drying up, but...it's still uncomfortable. I wonder what the other comp users are thinking if they smell me. but I don't got BO..so that's a relief. I just smell of sweat. well..what do you expect from 4 hours of volleyball? okay..first we ran 3 laps around the bball court .. then we had some stretches, then a mile around the block ourside, then 25 jumping jacks, 20 pushups, 25 crunches...repeat 3 times. after that..we hit the wall and did wall jumps. 3 sets of 3 sets of 10. heh..it's supposed to be 3 sets of 8..coach changed it..grr. first we jump 10 times and hit the wlal with our left hand..then both hands..then right hand..each 10 times...repeat 3 times. that's 1..we got to do that 3 times. I did okay..but some pple who just started were really struggling. then we had speed drills..where coach stands on the other side of the court and we had to run from the other side to bump balls she throws to her. it's really cool..cuz we are so encouraging of each others...always encouraging..something you don't usually get over here...we're a volleyball family!!!

then some of the volleyball guys come over and play against us..and it's really good for our conditioning. now coach is putting the varsity team-to-be against the guys...and we're looking okay I guess. the energy gets down sometimes..but we started to go into the middle and give each other palm (don't u just love that expression?) and talk it up...we're gonna start doin that during this year...it's great. cuz last year the varsity team was just really out of it every game man..that's why we didn't get to the states. we are SOOOOO gonna make it this year okay... alright..so the varsity team right now doesn't look that good..cuz we're playing against super players right now (the boys spike and serve to take off body parts man) ...but we shouldn't be discouraged..cuz we're gonna take the other teams by surprise. YES!!!!!!!!!! we are gonna bring kolbe some glory. oh yes...oh yes.....

alright... yesterday my dad brought up the topic about me starting a band... I was just...flabbergasted. he brought it up cuz I lurve music and stuff..and I can play the piano and guitar...so...yeah. I could never imagine my dad suggesting that kind of thing. he's usually very practical..and when I bring up stuff like my ambition of graphic designer and other stuff..he's usually very practical and state the facts..and the facts is that you need lots of talent for that...well whatever. anyway..back to band..I first totally opposed the idea cuz, I felt inside that I was too old for it or something and it would take so long that I would be too old when it starts or something. isn't that totally ridiculous? I'm not even 16 and I'm already thinking I'm old. ARGH...I have to stop that man...or I'll never wanna try new things cuz of my age...wow..that really made me sound old.

okay..what do we need in a band? a lead singer with backup vocals, drummer, guitar player, bass player, maybe a violinist or pianist, an organizer. And for things, we will need a recorder, the instruments ($$$$!), I don't even know it all!! man...it's gonna take so much work..oh my gosh... I know a violinist, a great pianist (not me), 2 guitar players with instruments, and I could sing backup and be the organizer...I could play the piano too of course. Argh...whatever..I'm just gonna drop it..cuz it's really unlikely that it will happen.

my dad's idea of a band would be one that is church related...or religion related. I know of 1 group in my church that has a CD out and everything..but...I dunno man.

man..there's quite a few things that I forget to record in my blog...okay, this happened like..last friday. me and my friend was at school early for volleyball, so we had nothing to do. we saw this lady with donuts walk up to the 2nd floor from the office..she was one of the club organizers right...so we thought we could pinch something from her...but we didn't have the courage to when we got up. so...we were just walking around the classrooms..they were open..and the room where we studied theology last year was super neat. the tables were all straight and just so perfect. so..we decided to turn ALL the desks around so they would face the other way...I actually thought he said turn them upside down..but haha..thank goodness we didn't. WELL...so we turned them all around right..so we ran out of there, and the principal and another teacher came up..but we were on the other side of the hallway and we ran down the stairway on the other side. wow...that was exhilarating. haha...and you know what's stupid...that classroom would be my next semester's homeroom...how stupid is that. and miss pietras (real strict spanish teacher) class was just next door to that...haiz. I guess the janitor would be the one who would have to change it back though...they'll definitely have it straight by friday...when the freshmen start.

okay...like yesterday at dinner right...my bro was going crazy over food again and was eating mega fast, not tasting. so I guess my dad compared him to animals in his brain and this question came out: do animal have taste buds? I have to get back to you on that dear blog...

I guess that's it..I thought there was more though..::shrug::..

oh wait..I remember now. yesterday, I was at school early for volleyball (my dad drops me off before work..so I have not much choice) and Father hernan (school pastor) asked me if I could help out with the chapel upstairs...so I went up cuz I'm always ready to help. the room was lookin good...but messy. the school actually hired a real designer for the room...I was pretty surprised...well...she told me to use white paint and a sponge to make clouds on the blue ceiling. it looks pretty good... maybe pple could look up and see shapes just like real cloud gazing..haha.

oh man...exactly 1 week from now..I'll have the first-day-school jitters...prolly won't be able to sleep that well and stuff.

man..I really don't want summer to end...not cuz there's no school...but I just lurve the wonderful weather that summer has. my ideal day is blue skies with no clouds or few clouds, and the sun just shining down on us. but not too hot. that's the weather for the past few days and it has been just GORGEOUS. Summer is now my favourite season...before, I would seldom say summer cuz So many others put summer as their fav, and I just wanted to be different..heh..but now I just never want summer to end. I don't want the days of cold, shivering, ashy skin and chapped lips to start again...NO!! well...at least it won't be that warm so I could wear those gorgeous pants of mine...

I wanna settle down in a place with the weather I like all year round...not too hot not too cold with lots of sunshine. however...i would get all frustrated when I can't go out and enjoy it cuz of work or school. and the place I stay has to be near the beach..oh yeah. so well..my bro is just sitting on the ground right now cuz he's been waiting for the comp. and whenever I look at him, he looks back...haha..funny...alrighty..I'm gonna sleep soon...

okay...my dad works at the university of bridgeport (UB) and I could take classes there free as a special student since I'm still a high school student. i'm gonna be a junior btw. so...I'm gonna take korean 101. my dad recommended it. and cuz my school has really few advance placement courses (for those who dunno, its courses that count towards college) and so taking classes in UB would substitute for courses I wanna take but they don't have. and it's also easier, cuz I don't have that freakin AP exam to take at the end..flunk the exam..you waste a year. so...I'm looking at the UB class catalog...but I have to put my thoughts down on paper..or in this case computer.

so...I'm strong in all subjects okay...but what am I interested in? sounds easy to answer..but not exactly. I had fun in chemistry...I do good in bio..but it's boring..okay..math, there's AP calculus, so I don't have to worry about that. but I really like geometry. okay..languages, I'm already gonna take korean... hate history.. for the arts and music section..I'm not ready cuz college level is real advanced. I really want to see how design and architecture is like though...

wow..I've had a blast with my friend friday and yesterday. friday we just chilled at her place, played scrabble, looked at SFP pics, watched tv. I stayed over at her place for the night..and we were talking till SO late, we started talking at like 9:30, and we didn't stop till 3:30. I was ready to just collapse, but she kept going man, and she had SO much energy. wow.

the next morn (yesterday), we woke at around 9am..haha..it was SO gorgeous okay. the sky clear blue and the sun was shining. OMg..I just love the weather over here. we went to the milford mall and stayed there for 3hrs. visited many stores, and it was weird, alot of the stores gave you $25 store credit if you spend $50...what's with this $25 thing...fav number I guess. I even spent $25 on these jeans..heh...they're blue with darkish blue strips, but very small difference between the colors..and they're baggy, straight legged...then I went into wetseal..they had these black baggy pants that i just LURVE! I thought they were part of this $25 sale for blue asphalt jeans..I ws just so blown away..hhaha. but today, I returned the blue jeans I bought at the other store and bought those black jeans...I'm so happy!! however, they wer $40...well, I'll just use the money that my dad's church friend gave us then...(read below). :)

when I play volleyball....I get frustrated very often when I make a mistake I think I shouldn't have made, and this frustration is built up even more when I see other players make dumb mistakes too...it's not that I have grudges against them after, i just get kinda depressed. whenever I show this frustration right...my teammates would encourage me and say things like 'don't get frustrated okay esther'...and stuff...and I realized that they worry about me man...and my frustration effects them and takes their concentration away from the game...I feel so self centered :(...okay...no more frustration...

okay...I better stop thinking about all the bad stuff's that's going on and think of the things I should be grateful for...GRRR...but it's SO hard okay....alright..whatever man...I'm just hungry right now...

there's these 2 japanese bros in the xgames aggressive inline right...and the younger one is takeshi yasutoko...before..he had glasses and stuff..but this year..whoo..he looks all grown up..man..he is so gorgeous...OMG!!! I tried checking pictures online..but they're all old and stuff..I hope they load up some more recent pics man...I wanna have one in my room. :)

okay...I got $75 from one of my relatives for a special occasion...and my dad wants me to spend it on something substantial so it would feel like that relative bought it for me...but I just want to save it and feel rich..don't you get that satisfying feeling that you have a pile of money somewhere? I love that feeling...but I also like buying stuff....grr..

okay...let's put my wish list into different categories:

music: nah, I just got a cd player recently..but I don't like it...I could get a new cd [smashmouth!]

camera: save up for a digital cam...SCHWEET

clothes: my dad won't let me use it for school uniforms...but I haven't asked him about clothes...hmmm maybe I could get a new bathing suit..the one I hav now is kinda..small..heh

shoes: just got a pair..not happening!

a new special interest: cool..I'll be shopping at barnes and nobles for a book on crafts or something...I saw this book that teaches you how to make popup cards... OMG..I know..I could get a new piano book!!! yeah...alright

oh yeah..then there's my guitar strings that need replacing.

maybe I could get something to decorate my room with...maybe a TV..haha....some funky stuff...oooo..I could get a nice soft carpet..the one I have now is UGLY.
wow..I came up with some real good stuff. :)

remember I talked about the bumpy road up to the farm in vermont? guess what..because of that..and because of stupid old ME for choosing it..we have a freakin flat tire...oh yeah..no one's blaming me..yeah yeah..but they're all hinting it though..psh...

I'm back!!! I got back last night and didnt' get a chance to really use the comp and Xgames was on..so I went right to bed after that. I'm now at school...ready for some volleyball! can't wait to play.

well..here's what happened at Vermont.

We left on Sunday (17th) morn..9am. My dad had a last minute report for work to do...my mom still had stuff to pack, we had to get the house ready for the workmen to work on the heater system...and yeah...tempers tempers. My mom made a few last minute adjustments to her plants outside...and we were off. The journey was very good...not hot at all cuz it had rained the night before. I sat in front with jessie (she's small) and was the navigator..as usual. I mainly listened to music on my walkman...and slept. my bros played their gameboys and my mom slept. my dad drove. So...we got to the resort at around 1:30. It didn't seem like such a great place at first glance. it's called cedarbrook...I dont' know how to explain it...but a church friend of ours is renting one of the apartments they have there for a year, and lending it to other families for vacation. aren't they nice? yup..they're going to be there this friday actually. well..it turns out that this place is pretty cool..they had minigolf...(free since we live there) with 18 holes...a heated pool (I personally didn't like it..too warm) and a volleyball net (A+ for that one!). The apartment had a little kitchen, a nice living room with a view, and 2 rooms...1 for our parents, and 1 for us kids..it had 2 beds btw. yeah...and the best part...they had a tv in every room. and they have cable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was SOSOOO happy when they had the channels for the xgames...hahahah...thank you LORD! so..yeah..I was just in time for Xgames that afternoon..we just chilled at home that day...swam and stuff...we also had a pizza lunch at this place called pizza jerks...I recommended it...and it was real good. expensive though...after lunch....we drove around the killington ski area..it had lotsa restaurants and a few snowboarding places..I LURVE snowboarding man. okay...we're at the biggest ski resort in the east during the summer..still doesnt make sense.

2nd day...monday (18th). okay..what did we do...okay, I remember sleeping in..haha. oh yeah..we played mini golf...it was really fun...my bro made the first hole in one. oh yeah...I didnt get any...:( well...my sis wasn't doing that great..it's the first time for her playing golf at all....so...she got some tempers flying there..heh. after golf (took 1 hr half) we chilled..then had lunch...then went off to killington where we took the k1 express gondola up the mountain and hiked down...my recommendation..btw..my dad appoints me to be tourguide every vacation...so I pick out place I think we should visit..and stuff...but when it goes wrong..I always have that feeling in my tummy and regret...garsh. well..the hike is one of the things I regret...it was the worst thing....the ride up was fantastic...then we walked up a little way more to the summit...beautiful up there..at first we couldnt' see anything cuz of the fog..then it cleared and u could see everywhere. then there was the confusion about getting down the mountain...we chose to hike down to save money .. haha...but is 3 hours of grueling walking and confusion really worth saving a few bucks? I dunno... well..you see, the person at the hiking center told us the proper route to go..and that there were places that were closed...so when we couldn't find the route he told us to take..we had to walk back up to see if we missed it..then I ended up going all the way up to the top to ask the person in charge there...he told us nothing was closed...whoo..I was mad yo. but we were like what the crap...and just walked down the road...we were so tired when we finally got down...my mom had the nerve to say she enjoyed the hike..heh. it was okay I guess..my dad liked it. okay...got home..just in time for xgames again..thank you lord thank you! we stayed home for the rest of the day.

last day...Tuesday 19th...yesterday...I think it was the best day. I was real tired from watching xgames the night before..went to bed at 11. and during the night...our AC was making So much noise...but it's cuz the water from the ac upstairs was dripping onto ours and making such a freakin racket...so I got up and slept out in the living room...the sofa stinks...well..I woke at 9:16..heh..still remember..had breakfast..and cuz my sibs were so crazy over mini golf..I went with them...it's always so much funner with me..heehee.. my sis and my other bro got a hole in one...I was so mad cuz I didnt' get any that day either...but I'm real consistent..so I got 2nd...I must say that my sis got the hang of it..she did real good. okay...after golf..we left for pico mountain...and we took this open chair lift ride up the mountain...it was a covered thingy the day before...so this chairlift thingy scared the wits out of brian and jessie...i liked it though...cuz the sun was directly on us...and I could tan..whoo..it felt GOOd. well..at the top..we grabbed our little carts and slid down the trails. it's called the alpine slides. we sit on this thingy with a handle in the front and all you do is control the brake...it was really fun man...I went real fast down the slide. it's a pretty long slide and they have curves and dips and stuff...however...brian was infront of me..I caught up...he was MAD slow! omg..I was so mad..there was still like half of the slide left and I had this bozo in front of me going at 1 mile per hour....okay..so I stopped right...so I could just have more of the track to go fast on..on the other lane..this guy and his dad were going real fast...and I was just starting to move again..man..it was embarrassing...whatever....I had a good time though. we wanted to go again...butwe had to go... we got back..had lunch...packed up..and then left. I pcked out some places to visit on the way back before we hit the main high way. we visited this farm up in the mountain...we nearly didnt' go cuz the roads were just dirt roads...and our car is an old one..but whatever..we got up and it was fun man. we tried maple syrup..the different cheese they had..and boy wer ethey strong man..whoo. after..we walked aorund...watched a documentary on the farm...real educational. we spent over an hour there...yeah...okay...so we got back down the mountain and went to this gorge. a gorge is like a valley..but it's sides are really steep..almost vertical. and the bridge passed over it..wow.it was nice. it was created during the ice age when a river cut the land open or something...and the river is still there.....and you could hike down to the bottom of the gorge....and to a waterfal nearby..GOSH! why didn't they have brochures on this place..we could have gone there (for free too) and not to that stupid place at killington. ARGH!...but whatever...it's done. so we drove home....

okie...i finished this just in time for volleyball..so Ill type some more stuff up later...

okay...I don't think there's internet access over in the vermont resort..so I'll just tell yaz all about it when I get back. I'll miss you my dear blog. XOXOXOX!!

okay, here's the situation...I want to watch the Xgames which starts at 2 and ends at 4...however, in order to get down to volleyball, I need to leave at 2:30 or 3:30 at least... maybe I could watch till 3:30, reach volleyball at 4:40 and play till 7...that's 2 hours and 20 mins...pretty good right? yeah...maybe I should do that! yes...problem solved.

okay, I am mad alright. I just watched this music video on disney (yeah, I still watch disney, got a prob with that? heh) with all the stars singin circle of life. pple like raven, christy carlson romano, lizzie and pple...but what I was really mad about is that lizzie was always..ALWAYS in the middle of each and every shot....just cuz she acted in real movies and stuff doesn't mean she has to be in the main spotlight okay..and she stinks as singin anywayz...could hardly hear voice in the whole thing. she's only there cuz she's pretty and has a good body....but in reality, she's not really that great. I prefer raven and christy to her blonde head anytime okay.

I feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile today...I didn't go to volleyball today, so I haven't stepped out of the house once. So I watched tv, played online games, ate, watched tv, read a little and not much else. I read a bit of the driver's manual and have put 1 chapter into my mind... oh yeah, I cleaned the fish tank...the one we bought exactly 1 week ago...the one sad news about it is that on of the swordfish died...so sad. yeah, I put it back into the tank after cleaning it and stuff, and it just sank to the bottom and lay on its side...not moving. all the fish were in a separate bucket while I was cleaning, I wonder how it died...maybe my sister was a bit rough with the net. oh well...once alive, now dead, lying among the remnants of our lunch and dinner in the garbage can in the kitchen. maybe its soul rest in peace...PEACE!

well..one thing i'm really proud of is...that I made dinner!! I made fried rice. I just improvised and did what my mom did. first, I sliced some hotdogs the short way...not too thick not too thin. then I beat up 4 eggs, put a mighty helping of soy sauce in it (it should look brownish yellow) and mix. so I put some vegetable oil in the pan, then sprinkled garlic powder on in just like my mom does...the heat is 3/4 btw. then I put in the hotdogs and I fry them till they're a little brown. after that, I put in the rice that I already cook...it's sticky rice, but my mom said it was better to put not so sticky rice, but I forgot...but it turned out good though. after putting the rice, I realized that I should have broken up the lumps for easier stirring..well..we learn from our mistakes. so...when I though the time was right..haha..I poured in the egg mixture and stirred and stirred, turned it over many times...I added sprinkles of pepper and salt..very important cuz noone likes eating bland food..I learned taht from the 2nd casserole I made..ilk. well..it turned it really good..I actually thought the rice was gonna be a disaster. hurray for me!!!

mmm...doesn't it feel good to sit with a full belly of something you love. (I mean food..heh)

Xgames is coming to ABC and ESPN this weekend till next thursday....but what I'm mad about is that me and my family will be in vermont sunday to tuesday. yeah, it'll be fun, but I've been looking forward to xgames for a long time and every summer something always seems to come up or I forget to watch it or something. this is like the first time I actually know before hand that the xgames is on...whatever. hope we have fun at vermont though...

I got a pair of sketchers..again...from marshalls. they're the exact same color as my old ones (when they were new of course) and they're the kind with no shoelaces..you just slip them on. it's cool...but I saw another pair the same style just khaki and red...but they didn't have the size. grr...but whatever...those shoes are cool.

guess what? winmx is okay to use! cuz they don't ask for any information about you at all...you just have to give a screenname that you want to appear to other users as. winmx rocks!! now I'm really itchin to download a song...I'm downloading 'things I'll never say' by avril..it's SO good.

I'm leaving for marshalls real soon to get...a pair of sneakers!! the last time I bought a real pair of sneakers was....hmmm...almost 2 years ago for my birthday. pathetic right? my old sneakers are navy sketchers with blue and white paint from halloween, and a nice apple green paint spot from SFP (painted a mural). also, the soles are tearing off..kinda..and the sides are worn out and yellowish grey. so..I'm really really happy I'm getting new sneakers. actually...a few months ago...I got all black sneakers for school...only all blacks are allowed. but I want some nice sneakers for casual wear too you know. since my dad paid for those all blacks, i'm gonna try to keep the cost for this one low. and even though those reeboks are all black, the logo is grey..and that's a no no in my school....sister karen (discipline master) doesn't miss any non black spots...SO...I colored them in with permanent black marker. heh...ghetto me. okay...hope I come home with a new pair of sneakers that I like..or will come to like instead of 2 grumpy parents and a whiny brother...whoo...i can do this...

I'm afraid to download music after my dad told me about lawsuits against pple who download music right...and I was just browsing through all the different websites that offer legal music downloads..and they're so...alike, I dunno which one to choose, or if they're really legal, or if they're true. whatever...I've been taught by my dad to be very very wary of things like that...there are so many scams and stuff, grr!

however...the only way those freakin lawyer pple can get pple like me is if those music download companies give away our info...but then that would be invasion of privacy...so...but still, there could be a chance. haiz..

just came back from volleyball...tired... well, I had a inspiration while playing for volleyball. since I'm a setter, I said to one of the hitters on my team 'I'm gonna set you up', which means I'm gonna send the ball to him to spike it over. So that got me thinking, set you up, that phrase...so I came up with a saying. I'm the volleyballcriminal cuz i set you up. and coach was bringing in all these volleyball catalogs and they had Tees with stuff like 'that's gonna leave a mark', 'get off the court', 'I win you lose'..that kind of thing. so coach was like hey you should put it on a tee shirt! ahah..I was laughing...and it was in the middle of a game too...but whatever, we still won. I'm gonna have that as my screen name from now on man...volleyballcriminal. heh.

Coach gave us a list of exercises for us to do before aug started..this month was to be like..real training month. So, today, we did ALL the exercises. it's like a whole long list of maybe 30+ things like crunches, wall jumps, pushups, laps, stretches and repeat. omg...then after that...I'm just too tired to play the game. haiz...I have to get used to it..or I'll be terrible next season. no..those volleyball girls who aren't comin to practice during the summer are gonna be terrible..theres So many that are not coming....I pity them. ouch..

my aim thingy is not working..when I finally have a chance to sit down on the comp upstairs..you see..the comp downstairs is a new comp, and my dad doesn't want to get it...contaminated I guess with hackers and stuff. and DSL is not like a modem (upstairs), everytime you connect with a modem, the address of your internet changes, but with DSL, it's a fixed address. that's why I only download music up here.

well it turns out, my mom found out what was wrong with the grill...my dad wraped aluminum around the grill which left a gap of air in between the foil on the top and the bottom. the last time we had a cookout...he did the same thing, but we had a gigantic fire roaring then....but this time we didn't have that much coal. well..my mom came down with some food she grilled (looked real hot and sweaty but..TRIUMPHANT!) and set it on the table...and started telling my dad what he did wrong. then my dad realised and told my sibs all about the anatomy of a grill with aluminum foil on it...science class. there he goes again...right now haha. btw...by the time my mom discovered what was wrong..we were already in the kitchen downstairs eating ramen....so it was an indoor cookout..heh.

I just realized I've been eating since...I came back from church. we had lunch...big one...then we left for the movies right after that and ate gummies and popcorn for 2 hours..then came back and had a short interval without food...then had chips on the deck while waiting for the food to cook..then went down for ramen...and I just finished eating some of the food my mom grilled....that's...like 8 hours. I feel blubber popping out.....ARGH! I feel sorry for the african children....*guilty conscience* well...I'll be playing volleyball 3 hours a day for the next 5 days...:)

it's about to rain....dark clouds hang in the sky..ready to pour. however, my mother is up on the deck determined to have a cookout. yeah...me and my sibs were up on the deck with my parents eating chips and playing uno while waiting..but we've given up. the grill is still not hot enough and is not cooking the meat at all. my sibs are now playing video games...and my mom is trying to cook some chicken on the grill. bad weather didn't permit a cookup yesterday, and it's a good thing we didn't try cuz it started pouring cats and dogs. wow....we had ramen. I think we'll be having ramen tonight as well....and some very rare chicken. it's not that we're so unlucky with cookouts...we had one before..and it was great. it's the weather....grr...

I got back from the movies 1/2 hr ago. I went with my sibs and my friend to watch the really cool movie freaky friday. we smuggled homepopped popcorn and gummy bears into the theatre. I had actually forgotten about the popcorn..and ate so much for lunch...grr...but popcorn's so good..I ate 3/4 of a bag..by myself. fat fat fat...and I ate all my gummy bears. oh whatever...I only do this once in a while. the last time I went to the movies was to watch treasure planet. I think lindsay lohan is so pretty man...and she's a real good actor...not that keen on her singing though...at least she's not tone deaf.

BTW..alex carpenter is the one who designed this cowblog skin and I contacted him when I had problems with the archive thingy..

omg! look at the archives box! it has the dates and not the freakin 'undefined NAN'. man..this past week, me and alex carpenter have been working on this blog. we were trying to figure out what was wrong with the archive thingy. when I found out I did it right..I started jumping up and down screaming 'it works it works!' ahha..silly me.

I'm really improving for volleyball...which I am very pleased.

setting: going great, I can really push the ball to where I want it to be.

bumping and diggin: very good...I used to hate being in the back row of the receiving end. the opponent's server would pick me cuz I always hit the ball in weird parts of my arms and it flies away like a bird. but now I can really bump it up to the setter. :)

serving: coming along fine. I've surpassed my underhand serving dayz and I'm doing okay with overhand. but I sometimes get a really bad streak and the ball would only go into the net. my coach told me today that I have to have the same concentration and the same power everytime. so everytime I go up to serve...I repeat those words in my head. the power I am getting for serving is increasing as I'm doing my pushups.

spiking: ugh..not that good. last summer..we had this volleyball one day camp and we learned the technique to spike. however..cuz I'm the setter...I rarely get a chance to spike...and when I do...it sometimes go over but with not much power as I want it to...well...I'll be practicing.

Coach talked to me today (she's a lady and turned 37 just 2 dayz ago!)...and she asked me if I was ready for the responsibility of being setter next year. (it's my 2nd volleyball season). well..she told me that the setter runs the team on the court..unlike the team captain who runs it off the court. well...she told me if I was gonna be setter...I would have to way more aggressive and be a loud mouth....keep the energy going and stuff. I'm usually a pretty timid person and I'm really worried about what pple think of me. and coach told me straight out 'there's gonna be alot of back talk...'. what the heck! goodness...but I'm really glad I have this responsibility though...:/

I'm so proud to be a singaporean!!! today is Singapore's national day. if you don't know about singapore...research. :)

I am really really really fed up with this archiving thingy okay....i love the new skin and everthing...but the arching template is really pissing me off....

yesterday...my sis's friend, michelle, came over...along with her 2 little brothers. my parents and I were out....and my bros were just cooped up in their own room playing video games or something. so noone was watching michelle's bros right..and the younger bro (i think anyway) took my guitar in my room and plucked 3 strings out of shape. the strings were all loose and stuff. I dunno if my sis knew if he was playing with it or not....so well...I asked her last night if she knew what had happened..and she acted all attitudish...goodness. I asked her why she didn't take it away if she knew they were playing with it...she could prolly hear if someone was on the guitar right?? then she said that if she did take it away..they would cry...'do you want them to cry huh? what was I supposed to do'. and she rolled her eyes and just stomped out. FREAKIN STUPID OKAY. ugh..and she's only what..8. this is a really big problem I'm having with jessie now a days..it's been gonig on for a few days...I hope it stops...I keep telling myself that it's okay..she's little...she needs to learns...maybe she's having a bad day...blah blah blah blah. whatever...

today...I had a great accomplishment...(drumroll please!). I made my first casserole. it was really good..if I do say so myself. I got the recipe off of recipesource.com it was a chicken noodle casserole. :) and I added my own inredient....shredded mozarella cheese on top. my sibs liked it...except nick who doesn't like cheese...so he just skipped lunch...well whatever..he needs a diet anywayz. heh. I kept some for mi parents...hope they like it.

grrr..this skin thing is not working out for me. the main thing that's going wrong is my archives...I cannot access the older entries that I had when I put in a weekly archive but it works when I put in a monthly archive. however....when I click on the later entries, it returns me to the older template I had...omg...I'm really frustrated okay.

ignore all confusion with the links and stuff..I haven't set it up properly yet...do you like the new look? got it from blogskins.com

I just came back from my friend's birthday party....she turned 13 on monday...but she ecided to have it during the weekend. Since I live real close to her, I went an hour and 20 mins early to help her decorate and stuff. I got her the new michelle branch CD, a key chain, a card and put it in a sky blue gift bag. well anywz....I put up streamers (streamed them from the middle of the room to the edges) it looked pretty good actualy...her parents liked it..haha..whatever.

well...she invited her neighbour who is vietnamese..she came early too and blew some balloons (I have no idea why cuz they already had so many). well....then the other guests arrived...msot of them were 10, 11 ish. I was kinda surprised she invited so many (16 in total I think)...and she didn't even know that many of them well...besides her neighbour...all the rest were from church.

I was the oldest there but I had a few friends there....including liz and hannah who are 14. so I chatted with them and had fun. the first activity we had was to decorate quilt squares with fabric paint and special markers that her mom would put together to make a good memory quilt. haha....it was pretty fun...but messy...she had a really hyper little brother who ran around and messed her pple's quilt squares (the fabric paint smudges easily). mine got messed up a little when her mom threw some markers to someone behind mee..haha..whatever.

it was really weird..cuz jinmee hardly talked to us...she helped with food in the kitchen and only talked to her neighbour...not much interaction with the guests at all...I think it is VITAL to have the host interact with his/her guests. but I think she was shy....

then after.. we had cake. not the usual cake. it was separate round sponge cakes with whipped cream and a strawberry on top. it was good....kinda dry though. and there was one with 13 candles in it which she blew out. after cake..we started the movies.

there was 'the others' and both the harry potters. 'the others' is a scary movie pg 13...so the under 13 year olds had to go down to the basement where they watched harry potter...haha..some of them didn't look too happy. half way through the movie....we had dominoes pizza...weird..cuz we didn't even pray..it was just a messy thing with hunger on their minds...no thank yous and stuff..GRR!

whatever..then we finished the movies and the parents arrived...cuz my dad wasn't there yet....I watched she and her neighbour open her presents...her neighbour got a 'you rock!' from her cuz she had gotten her one of those hair iron thingys that crimps, straightens, and curls...blah..whatever....I'm not jealous..no..I didn't feel a tinge of jealousy when she gave her neighbour a big hug and just a little smile to me..no no no n on o ...I'm acting so immature..

well..not so bad for my first birthday party...pathetic me huh.

sheeya

I'm looking into a new look for my blog...I look at other pple's blog and they make it look so unique and nice...so I searched blog skins and have found some potential ones to download. but first I'm reading a tutorial about how to attach skins to my blog....it's freakin hard since I don't know any html. grrr...

why..why...why? I kept asking myself that during that 10 min walk from my school down to where I am now...the bridgeport public library. WHY?!! yesterday, my coach told me that rec today would start at 4. it is now...4:30. okay..I'm really mad that she told me the wrong time. how do I know it's the wrong time? cuz no freakin body's there! omg...I'm really mad right now okay. do you know how much effort it takes to get down here?? I have to leave like an hour earlier than normal volleyball rec pple do...cuz I take the BUS! okay?

haiz...okay...it's not coach's fault...she's a little winded in the head...so I guess she can't remember what she says to pple...but man...she should know how much it takes to get down here. well..okay...I got a ride from someone down to bridgeport anywayz...but I was waiting for my bus and had to wait here in the library till rec 'started' anywayz and I had walked up to school from the library...okay..and this girl beside me keeps reading whatever I'm typing and I'm really PISSED OFF. OMG!!!

I don't see any purpose in this at all...why did this happen? okay...so I saved a dollar..so? mama was gonna reimburse me ANYWAYZ. and since I only logged off the internet here like half an hour ago..I only have 15 mins....what is wrong with this frudging day man.

the only consolation is that I can rightfully say that I am a dedicated person and I am doing this for someting I really love to do. wow...I really feel a sense of accomplishment...

i just made a pizza..you know the store bought crust, store bought mozzarella cheese, store bought tomota sauce and store bought hotdog put together pizza. yeah....well...I put WAY too much cheese okay...I used more than half a packet okay. . fudge...the pizza tasted all funny...goodness..what's wrong with me man...

okay....I feel calmer, more composed, better....whoo.

my siblings are being SUCH BRATS....................................................................................................................................

okay..I'm really frustrated...I mentioned how my dad is sick of driving us around right...but sometimes we have no choice but to ask him okay. so here's the situation alright:

jinmee invited her and a bunch of other pple to her birthday party this saturday...and so they're putting alot into it, and she's turning 13...she's a teenager! so I think it's important that I get a good present for her. so 2 nights ago, I went to walmart but I didn't find anything for her...and yesterday night, I tried asking my dad to bring me somewhere else, but misunderstandings happen..and he didn't want to bring me. so...tonight I want him to bring me to borders (bookstore). and it turns out that my mom would be shopping for groceries and wanted to get a pair of sneakers for my bro tonight...AND my volleyball rec goes till 7pm.

it was ugly this morning man...I am SOOOO frustrated okay...no..I'm really really angry. dfknhj;adfkljsa;dlkfja;k. not even talking about it on blogger gets it out man. haiz..

I think the SOLUTION is:

on the nights I need to go somewhere...I should not go for volleyball.

but I love volleyball too much to miss it okay.....problem identified...this is it...my dad is prolly cranky cuz I'm not spending as much time with the family and spending too much time at volleyball...and when I come back fromvoleyball I'm somtimes depressed with the way I'm playing and he gets depressed. he says like 'you know esther, it's not worth it if you participate at these recs and not get anything out of it....disappointments....not many pple there anyway.....!#E ERDFSD' okay..get the picture? in short...he just can't understand why I go to rec when I wanna do something else

SOLUTION to problem identified in previous solution:

not go for rec some days....

alright! I finally figured out how to change the time of this blogger thingy to the right time. it was 3 hours behind before...