okay..so the semester ends december 12, so i'm hoping all the grades will be out by december 20. so december 22, 23 (monday and tuesday) i'm going to push for my transcripts to be sent out. hopefully they will get it done. soo..then that will reach pharmcas hopefully by the first week of january..please! ...so that's plenty of time till the feb 2 deadline.

so......by the third week of december, i want to have all my letters of recommendations done:
dr. santiago, director biology dept ub
beckim, griffin hospital pharmacy
one more....what about dr. phillips?

so once i finish finals...which is the second week of december...i have 5-6 weeks to study for the pcats..sweet plenty of time.

alright...today..tuesday
need help with the micro lab reports...i wanna ask adam if he has time in the afternoon and i can go over it with him.

and then...
i need to print out the transcript request form and submit it.

and then...
i need to talk to dr. santiago and let her know i would like her to write a good recommendation for me.

my goals over thanksgiving:
write the microbiology lab reports
write the textual analysis (piece of cake i believe)
write the outline to my personal statement
fill out the pharmcas sections: honors, awards, activities, work experience.
study...microbiology.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I've made mistakes and bad conditions little by little over the past week..even though i tried my best to move forward into my 21st year with a stable heart and mind. There are struggles, and this does not mean that my 21st year will be struggle, it means there will be many opportunities to see You amidst all the difficulties.

Heavenly Father, I want to use this evening to connect to you through my brothers and sisters. I really want to connect to you, and make good conditions to prepare myself to reflect tonight. and I will have no expectation to reach any conclusions tonight, but Father, I want to make small efforts everyday.

Dear Heavenly Father, is the cycle repeating itself? Am I going to go through another 4 years of turmoil? Will I recognize the mistakes I made in the past so I will not fall into them again? Am I making the mistakes already?

I need to clear the mud, the fog..make things clear. What is the life of faith? Is it removing our fallen nature and perfecting our original nature? It is having a dynamic relationship with God - praying and receiving his guidance everyday? Is it liberating God's heart, understanding and restoring the world? Is it continuous study of the Word and preaching the Truth to others? Is it taking care of others/living for the sake of others? Is it taking God's perspective on things, and being in a good place with Him?

I think it's not enough to be in a good comfortable place with God. If I say that I want to always be in God's favor, then that would mean I'm already perfect... But is the ultimate goal of everyday to reflect and repent so as to end back in the right centeredness? Or maybe it will take a couple days - or maybe weeks - to realize and go back to centeredness, where you feel God closely again.

actually i'll be taking not only capstone inthe summer..but also english (comp and rhet) cuz i got an ap score of 3 :(

i should check out American Society of Health-System Pharmacists'

and i was reading on monster http://career-advice.monster.com/job-industry-profiles/healthcare/Hospital-Pharmacists-Play-Bigger-Ro/home.aspx
of this guy who is a hospital pharmacist and also works in infectious diseases. and another guy is a hospital pharmacist and also teaches pharmacology. i think this is realy cool...especially that dude who works with infectious diseases as well.

PCAT exam: Jan 24, 2009
Deadline to register: Dec 12, 2008

well there was one in april of 2008...and then one in june 2008. so i'm guessing they're 2 months apart...so there will be another one maybe march/april of 2009. i don't think i should rush in studying for this test.

and the scores of the test will be sent within 6 weeks after to the institution

other questions: how much does it cost?

how much does each school cost to apply to?

how much does the pharmd program cost on average?
omg..it's $42k per year at UCSF...!
it's $33,225 at Touro
it's $32,940 at University of the Pacific

UCSF filing period is june 1 - nov 2 2009

you know..for pharmacy..it doesn't really matter what school you go to...
and university of the pacific has a PharmD and PhD program..
combines the features of the professional Pharm.D. degree with the teaching and research components of the Ph.D. degree:

This program provides a special opportunity to individuals who have a strong commitment to extend their professional pharmacy training into a career in teaching and/or research.

We believe this combined program will train outstanding teachers and researchers who will be in high demand for positions in industry and academia.

this sounds like something I may want to consider. I want to give myself options for the future. you know..I don't want to solely do a professional job..what if I want to go back and teach/research and be part of an academic institution? I may even be able to teach at a really good university so my kids can go there for free like me. I want to be able to give that to my kids.

things i could do instead of going on the computer:
1. study
2. practice/study music
3. read (go to the bookstore)
4. reflect..go on a walk.

actually i think sometimes i go on the computer to relax my mind. sometimes during studying or something i need to let me mind just relax...and what do i do..i go to the computer.

i mean there are times when the computer is good..like looking up speeches. and writing papers, getting work done.

how can I not go to the computer always..and enhance my life in other ways?

well..when do i go on the computer? when I come home and need to relax, or when I need to let my mind off of things.. it's when I want to communicate with people. the first thing..about relaxing..i can do through other things: walking, playing music, talking to someone, reading a book. taking a nap.. meditation, introspection, reflection..self massage. there's so much I can do.

i should make it a point to go to barnes and nobles once a week (westport or milford) to read up on science books.

or else...i should find journals or websites on line that I can read up on.

cut down on internet use (primarily fb) so I can use the time to
1. study
2. practice music
3. read and explore

and in the future...i will be needing to make time for volunteering .. it sounds like i will be needing to free up tuesday and thursdays 12:30 to 4:00pm. although that is way too many hours. hopefully i can contribute 2:30-4pm tuesdays and thursdays next semester...or else 12:30-2:15pm tuesdays and thursdays. so that's like 3 hours of service a week..pretty nice.

In Jin Nim says we have to be internally and externally excellent.
Father says we have to multitask as women.

Talked to Mrs. Hauer the other day and i've been in the process of reflecting.
What papa says is quite opposite to everything she says. Reflecting on that too.

Bottomline, I can hear from both sides..but I need to overcome that weakness of hearing from everyone else.. I need to build the strength that I can work with God to figure out a path for myself..and then not be wishy washy about it. Heavenly Father, I want to inherit your creative nature. There is a path for me that I will feel most good in my heart to go down...this path will encompass all the aspects that matter to me: spiritual growth, building my relationship with my match, external growth (job wise), public contribution. And timing for me is very important. I believe at this time, upon reflection, that I need to focus on the first three...and being able to contribute to providence will come.. but in fact, I am helping arielle to start this dp group..and I believe we can do something with it..is it not public contribution?

going into college...i I felt such a burden to do something public...and again i'm feeling this pressure. Is this pressure something God wants me to overcome and break out off and be an amazing church leader type?! Or is it telling me that I am more of a follower type?

What kind of person am I? I think of the idea of pioneer not with trepidation. in fact it gives me hope in the future...that it's my little promise to HEavenly Father that when he calls me to do something I will do it.

In the meantime, HEavenly Father, is it bad that I am focusing on my individual internal and external growth with the prospect to build a foundation for survival and prosperity of my future generations? More introspection needed